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Watson and I fled into the jungle even as the slithering sound of a thousand orchid petals rose all about us, a cacophony of doom. It was then that a strange darkness fell over the Amazon. The sky seemed to draw in upon itself, like air suddenly expelled from a balloon. The air tingled with an unseen energy and then became dark and bloody -- and there rose before us an U.B.S.O.F.O.S. warrior, dripping a noxious blend of fresh human blood and flower snot. A soft growling sound came from it's petals. Watson fainted. (He will never admit it, but he fainted.) Then a blood red sun appeared in the darkened sky and I watched with growing horror as a light passed from this planet of death and seemed to empower the attacking floral phantom. It grew before my eyes and became an even more muscular flower. It shiimmered with power. I cast my eyes about me for a weapon. I had only my walking stick and a pair of rusty hedge clippers I had thrust into my back pocket as a safeguard against this very moment. (I do not recommend this practice, however. Thrusting them into my rear pocket ruined several pairs of expensive trousers and resulted in some rather painful cuts.) The undead thing hovered there for a moment and then, as if hearing some silent cue, descended toward me, with the look of murder upon it's very petals. Watson stirred and upon seeing the descending horror, he groaned and fainted again. I stood alone, one man brandishing a set of hedge clippers against what was very obviously the champion of the entire army of Undead Blood Sucking Orchids from Outer Space. The battle, so long sought, was upon me in this lonely expanse of ground deep inside the Amazon rain forest. I barely had time to scribble these few words before it came for me...

By: magic_fella (www.crapithinkabout.com) Copyright © All Rights Reserved

Taken: January 1, 2009
Uploaded: April 4, 2009

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